At 39 years old, I took up Taekwondo. When I usually make that statement, the first reaction I get is “oh”. People aren’t sure if I’m adventurous or crazy, but usually they can’t relate. I don’t blame them, for it sounds odd to me even today. I didn’t start it because my kids were doing it, if anything they followed me. I didn’t start it because I had a middle age thing to prove, even though that sounds like the most logical explanation to me. I started it because simply, I wanted to.

While doing researching for a creative writing story concept, I found a website in which middle aged people were giving testimonies about how Taekwondo was changing their lives. They didn’t sugarcoat how tough it was, but did rave on about how the personal and spiritual rewards. It just so happened that there was a local Taekwondo school next to my daughter’s gymnastics studio, so I went in one time during classes to look around. I cannot explain why I was instantly drawn in, but the appeal was enough for me to try the one free class. I went one Saturday morning, and I was the only adult among a bunch of teenagers. I felt silly, intimidated, completely clumsy, and somehow, after an hour of harsh physical labor, I wanted to do it again.

I signed up for the six week trial special, and started off as a white belt. Any inferior mentality I had was quickly corrected by the school’s owner and fifth degree black belt, Mr. Perdue. He told me there was no such thing as a colored belt and I was a black belt in training. When that perspective was given, it changed my entire view of what I needed to accomplish. I jumped into training with enthusiasm, but quickly found that at the adult level, learning forms and one steps is the least of your worries. The primary objective is physical conditioning, and after each workout I hurt for days.

My six weeks ended and I passed easily to the next level, yellow belt. Now I had to make the real decision. Commit to doing this, or say it was fun and move on. I’ve seen a few of parents of children already enrolled in classes try Taekwondo for fun, and rarely make it beyond that decision. I wasn’t about to think I’ll “try it” for a few more months or a year. If I was going to go on, I was going to black belt, which would be a two year commitment. There was no halfway to be considered in my mind.

The decision was pretty easy. My six weeks had taught me something very revealing. Taekwondo does way more than discipline the body. It disciplines the mind. For a working mother of two, rushing in between a full time job, school schedules, after school activities, and even needs to the four pets, my mind needed some fixing. I found that no matter what my worries, what my stress level is, one hour of Taekwondo set it all right. No other form of exercise ever did that for me. Even now, whenever I feel particularly overwhelmed or depressed, I tell myself I’m taking a class that evening whether I like it or not. By the time I’m done, I’ve forgotten what my issues were.

Ever since I signed on the dotted line, I have diligently worked my way up the ranks. It’s a year later, and the belts get harder, the conditioning is still challenging, and my confidence has never been better. I’ve actually participated in three tournaments so far, and have even placed in some events, coming home with medals. At my age to stand on a podium at an award ceremony and get a medal, it’s a very surreal experience. It’s also pretty exciting. I’ve had setbacks too. I breezed through each of the rankings until blue belt. That was impossible. The form got harder, the kicks got harder, the sparring got harder, and that all happened during the holidays, where my priorities were clearly in other places. Then, I suffered a bad ankle injury and was out for a few weeks. Even now, months later, my ankle still isn’t right. I plug on though, because I’m a black belt in training, and I’m getting too close now to quit.

Today, I just received my brown belt. That puts me four ranks away from the first level of black belt. If all goes well, come December, just before my 41st birthday, I’ll have that probationary black belt. My kids are following right behind, and when I see them struggle, I can honestly relate with what they’re going through. Being able to pursue these goals as a family is enlightening, and we all have a common bond now because of it.

There aren’t many adult colored belts at my school over the age of 18 (adult level starts at 13). There are only a couple of us beyond thirty. I’ve seen many adults try and give up. They probably have good excuses, there’s no time, there’s other priorities, they can’t physically do it, but I know from experience all they lack is commitment. I don’t blame them, for commitment is hard and in this case cannot be taken lightly. It’s not for everyone. It’s hard to convince adults that Taekwondo involves a bigger picture, which is accomplishing goals that go beyond career and family.

The truth is, any accomplishment involving two years of persistence and hard work is ten times more fulfilling as an adult than if a similar feat was achieved as a teenager. We as parents teach our kids to strive for goals, to be achievement oriented, to pursue honors while they’re young, but rarely practice those standards ourselves. After all, we did that as teenagers, our time is done. It’s an easy trap to fall into, since there are corporate ladders to climb, nice houses to buy, too many commitments to fulfill, and too much confusion in our lives. Minor annoyances become major obstacles, and somehow there’s no room for a black belt. Or a blue belt. Or even a white belt.

I can’t imagine my life without Taekwondo, because I remember what it was like without it. I wasn’t working toward anything, just trying to make it through the day with my sanity in tact. Those two hours out of my week do more for me personally than anything else in my life. Even when I do get that black belt, my journey doesn’t end there. There’s plenty more training to do. Age is a state of mind with this martial art, and as long as I believe I can do this, I can go on forever. My kids will also be right behind me every step of the way, so I’ve got an example to maintain.