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Ten Suggestions For Killing Time During The TV Repeat Season

Written by Alice Jester

Yes, we all have been having the same problem.  We sit down in the evening during this holiday season only to find our shows are either in repeats or on hiatus.  All that's left is hokey holiday specials, bad reality, and newschannel blowhards that still would rather listen to the sounds of their own voices than entertain other opinions.  Or common sense.  So, for fun, here's ten rather unhelpful suggestions on ways to pass the time:

1.    Put on a CSI repeat, mute it, and invent your own dialogue.  CSI:Miami would be best if you especially have some very bad lines. If you’re in  the mood to brood, go for CSI:NY. Save the double entendres for Greg and Nick on CSI.

2.      Pull out your old TV on DVD classics and recall a time when TV was really bad. Challenge your friends over who can do the best “na na na na na na na…” during the slo mo of the Six Million Dollar Man. Bonus for those that can actually recreate it too. Also, Ralph and Potsie on Happy Days… gay?  

3.      Watch the multiple repeats of Mythbusters and pick out the plot inconsistencies.   

4.       Here’s something better than TV. Watching the cat lick himself. What a contortionist!  I won’t speculate how he can reach his butt with his tongue like that.   

5.       Do your own version of Survivor in the basement. Just like the real version, clothing optional. Beware though, plenty of tension exists when you vote a family member off the "island."   

6.       Unplug the TV and read a freaking book. Not on Kindle or books on tape either. Yes, this will require you to enter a library or bookstore. Document in a journal the deep anxiety you felt taking on this new adventure in your life. Hug your TV when you’re done and promise never to part again.     

7.       Go get a piece of foam or a sponge and recreate your own version of the TV brick. Test it out on Glenn Beck. Repeat testing for multiple days. Or weeks, whatever makes you feel better.  

8.       Watch PBS for a change. Don’t do it during a pledge marathon though. That might inspire you to kill someone.   

9.       Start your own drinking game for The Weather Channel. Be imaginative. Like drink every time a forecaster comes on with an ugly tie. Spot an Alberta clipper and you have the down the whole damned thing. We won’t even get into the mayhem that happens with snow in the Rockies.

10.   Go to Twitter and start a rumor about a death on Lost. See how few are actually shocked. Move onto Heroes next. See how many actually care. Then say Chuck Bass is dying on Gossip Girl. Tally how many think that’s actually a good thing. Become Facebook friends with these people.

Hurry back TV shows!  When imagination is left to the viewing public, we can actually be dangerous.

Why TV Networks Are In A Mess: Part One - History of TV Production

Written by Alice Jester

Sure, it’s getting to be old news. Network TV ratings are down. The reasons are plenty. Advertising is down. Numbers aren’t being counted accurately because more people are watching shows online, with DVRs, and DVD sets. The antiquated ratings system needs an overhaul. The current business model doesn’t work. 

Yeah, that’s all probably true, but the state of the system today all happened because of the corporate media mergers and their never ending chase for that new source of revenue. Their actions increased income in one area but ended up cannibalizing others. What’s happening is the result of the age of corporate media.    This is part one of several articles that will examine why Network television is in the mess it’s in today. There’s a long history that explains what’s happening and the various reasons why what used to work no longer does. Before going forward though, a brief look at the history of networks is required. We need to see in their business dealings how they got here. Part one is a history lesson.   

For fun, let’s go back 30 years to 1979 when TV wasn’t doing so well either. Back then NBC was a last place network and 60 minutes, a non-scripted show, was the number one program, drawing about 21.6 million seasonal average. The top twenty had some wonderful critical darlings like Taxi and WKRP in Cincinnati, some aging favorites like M*A*S*H, and super lite fare in Three's Company, That's Incredible!, Dallas, The Dukes of Hazzard, Real People and CHiPs. We won't even mention the other awesome stuff that didn't make the top twenty, like BJ and The Bear, Charlie's Angels, The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. We had just said goodbye to stunning cancellations of Starsky and Hutch, Good Times, What's Happening!, Welcome Back Kotter, and my favorite, Wonder Woman.  In other words, back then they had a lot of crap too.  

In 1979, ratings were kind of low. Lower than previous years anyway. Cable wasn't an issue. It existed, but was an outlet for off-net syndication. Most homes didn't have VCRs yet, especially since they were expensive and the big war was brewing between VHS and Betamax. If someone missed their show, they had no choice but to wait until it came on again months later in reruns, or years later in syndication. At the time, the networks weren’t owned by any large conglomerates nor were they producing their own shows. They weren’t allowed to. The number of households watching TV was increasing, but overall ratings wasn’t. Bottom line, what was being aired was pretty bland.      

Lucky for network television, a game changing creative resurgence was just around the corner. That and Dallas getting delightfully trashy.  But I’m not ready to get into that yet. We need to go back farther.   

Read more: Why TV Networks Are In A Mess: Part One - History of TV Production

Mythbusters Go Wild With Duct Tape

Written by Alice Jester

You know, I've been telling my husband for years the answer to all our household needs comes from just a roll of duct tape. He's always mocked my faith in it. Thanks to the insanely creative genius of The Mythbusters in Wednesday's episode, I got a chance to do my "in your face" dance. Ah, the sweet gyrations of victory.

You know why I love watching this show so much? It's like watching kids at Christmas. Sure, these guys are brilliant in the level of detail and planning that goes into each experiment, but it's criminal to see people like this love their jobs that much. It's pure unadulterated jubilation over destroying things. Who doesn't love watching grown adults regress to their inner child while blowing stuff up in all sorts of ways? It's the best entertainment on television today.

I've often joked that some of life's strongest foundations have been held together by duct tape and chicken wire. So, when Adam and Jamie took those elements to construct a seaworthy duct tape boat, complete with duct tape sail, and managed to navigate the choppy waters of the San Francisco Bay without sinking, I was giddy to see such a lifelong theory proven correct. Almost as giddy and those guys were enjoying their sailing adventures. One had to wonder what sort of reactions they were getting from nearby boats as the wind pushed their dark grey product of an insane imagination along the water. I was laughing and I wasn’t even there. 

Read more: Mythbusters Go Wild With Duct Tape

Comic Con Wrap Up: All The Stuff I Missed

Written by Alice Jester

My final Comic Con piece for blogcritics.  Just like I did with the New York Comic Con, anyone plugging their stuff with me got a mention. 

http://blogcritics.org/culture/article/comic-con-wrap-up-all-the2/